As The Wall Comes Down
by Haley104
Summary: Kathryn and Chakotay are having dinner. As they begin to talk about their emotions, will good things come out of it or will their friendship turn sour?


"We haven't had dinner in so long. Its been so busy lately with all the alien attacks."

"Yeah I know Kath, I'd swear we have a bright neon sign flashing, All Aliens Attack, on the top of the ship."

"Tell me about it Chakotay! I just don't know how much longer I can take it out here . . ."

"Kathryn!" Chakotay said sternly, "We will make it home, with you as Voyager's captain, I'd be damned if we didn't!" He placed his hand over hers and said, "We will get back to Earth, don't let yourself think that we won't."

She gave him a small smile and received one in return.

"Thank you, I just get so stressed out over everything out here. And then it's so hard hiding it from the crew. I have to be sure to put on my captain's mask."

"Why Kathryn? Why do you always have to wear the captain's mask in front of your crew?" He said this gently, but inside he was annoyed. He didn't know why she wouldn't open up to any of her crew, especially to him.

"Well because I am the captain. I have to remain calm at all times, I can't let my emotions show to the crew, I have to stay strong Chakotay. I'm the leader here. People on this crew look up to me. They can't look up to an emotional wreck, so I just stay stern and get my points across. In other words, I put on the captain's mask."

"But Kath, that's not what your crew wants to see. I've heard them talk about you. They all love you Kath. But they are kind of, what's the word, umm, threatened by you in a way."

Kathryn didn't move a muscle. She was as serious as could be while hearing this about herself.

_Is that really how my crew feels? _

"It's just basically because of your icy glares and always even voice no matter what the situation. Sometimes they wish you were more like them. Some of them think that you don't make mistakes."

"What! I made a huge mistake! It's my own fault that they are all stranded out here! It's my fault that their lives are wrecked! Mine, mine, mine! I screwed up bad Chakotay! How can they think I never made a mistake?" She ripped her hand out from under his. By the end of it she was practically screaming at him.

_How dare he tell me all this! He knows all just get worked up!_

"Kathryn, you didn't screw up!" He said with his voice rising, "Your crew agreed with your decision! They knew you did the right thing. They are ok with the fact that they are out here because they know that you will get them home!"

"I don't know about that Chakotay. She said, icely. "I don't know if I can get them home. I just don't know any more."

She stood up and walked over to the window, looking out and beyond the Delta Quadrant. She could feel her eyes stinging. She had to fight back the tears that so badly wanted to flow. She had to stay strong . . . or did she. Chakotay was not only her first officer but her friend. She trusted this man with her life and she refused to even cry in front of him, let her emotions show in front of him. He was right. Her crew was right. She had over time, built up a wall, not letting anybody in. But she knew the time had come to break that wall. She had been longing for friendships with all of her crew. She shouldn't just be their captain. She should be their friend. She knew the time had come. The wall was going down. And know so were the tears. She let them flow freely down her cheeks, letting out all her stored up emotions.

Chakotay stood up and walked over to her. " I'm sorry Kath, I thought it would be good if I told you. I thought maybe you would open up but it's . . ."

"No! You were right! You were absolutely right in telling me Chakotay. I've built up a wall and refused to let anyone in . . . even you fully. You did the right thing by telling me. I needed to here it."

The tears were still flowing freely when he pulled her into his embrace. He stroked her hair and gently pressed kisses on her hair. They stood there for how long, they didn't know, nor did they care to know. It felt so good to finally let her emotions show, to finally let Kathryn show, not the Captain.

She tilted her head up to look at him. She loved his bone structure and that smile. She loved almost everything about him. It felt good being in his arms. She felt safe . . . and loved.

He looked down into her eyes, wanting to kiss her so badly but assumed she wouldn't approve. She caressed his cheek and quietly murmured, "Thank you."

He gave her that smile, that smile that she loved, that smile that made her heart ache for him.

And there they stood, looking into each other's eyes, both wanting the same thing.

He couldn't take it anymore. He loved her. He was sick of hiding it. He cupped her chin in his hand and guided her face toward his. He was surprised when she went along willingly. When their lips met, electricity shot through their bodies. This was what they had both wanted for so long.

When she ended the kiss, she said something that not even she could believe she said, "I love you."

All was silent.

_Lord did I just say that. God did I ever knock that wall down! Please let him say it back. Please let him say it back._

A huge smile spread across his face as he said the words, "I love you too, Kathryn."

The smile was returned when she leaned in for another kiss. It was he, who ended the kiss this time around.

"What about the crew Kath? What do we tell them?"

"The truth. That's what."

He gave her another one of his smiles and got one in return.

This was the start of a new beginning. A new chapter in their lives. Only in this chapter, they were together.

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Love it? Hate it? Let me know in a review. Please R&R 


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